there's a first time for everything

Since I can remember I've been traveling and seeing new places. Over the years, I have fell in love with it, and now I don't think twice about buying one round-trip plane ticket for a new place and jetting off by myself. I love everything about these new places, the biggest attraction being predominantly that it's not where I came from.
Now, I don't know if it's because I've resolved a lot of stuff recently, or what, but when I travel, it's completely different. Instead of loving everything new and different from home, I find all my joy in the little things that remind me of home. Yesterday my favorite part of the day was finding honeysuckle outside a mall. It smelled like home, and reminded me of my little brother bugging me since February about when the Honeysuckle blooms. It would seem that while I haven't given up my drop-everything-escapist fantasy completely, I now find myself wanting to be home.

For the first time, before I left I was sad about what I would miss back home, like all the fruit salads, afternoons lounging on the back deck, sailing on Barnaget, going to the same movie with my brother everyday for a week and not telling anyone, making ridiculous random art out of whatever I can find, practicing my baking, and just generally being with my family. Summer is the time when we can actually talk to each other, and not rush off to school or work. I know I don't handle change well, and I admit I'm just getting comfortable in my new life, but I think it just dawned on me that my kid brother will leave for college in just over a year. I've done the whole moving out thing with my older brother, my mom, and then me moving out of my dad's home. Damn, I really wish I didn't have to do this again.

Someone convince me I'll have a better relationship with my kid brother when he goes to college than I do (even now) with my big brother? I usually escape from the changes in my life, and I think right now I'm feeling the need to hold onto everything before it goes to hell. Well, I've remade my family before, I guess I'll learn how to do it again. Can I just go back to loving to travel and forgetting everything but right here? I'm in Paris, for goodness sake...