an early thanksgiving plea

I recently lost a good friend to suicide, and I know some people reading this are also feeling that loss as well. Though I thankfully have not had to deal with the grief of losing many people in my life yet, I have learned that grief is very personal and very different for everyone. It turns out that my grieving, like much of many my thought processes, is quite private. I don't feel better by crying to someone or spilling my feelings. I feel better by working things out myself, alone, and keeping my life intact.

That said, I think I've reached a point where, although I haven't figured anything out (how can you with suicide?) I have reached a significant epiphany. I've been thinking over and over again what it must have been like and what would lead my friend to believe suicide her only option. As background, you should know that I, too, have suffered quite a bit from both depression and generalized anxiety throughout college, and I know how difficult it can feel to just do everyday things, like eat regularly or go to class or even get out of bed.

Yet, what I discovered when I was trying to rationalize this situation, is that there's really nothing in this world that would make me choose suicide. Call it recovery from depression, or ignorance of pain, or what have you, but there is nothing that could make me voluntarily give up everything I love in my life. Between my family and friends and my schoolwork and my job, and even just my interests and the prospect of potential in my future, I have so much to loose, that I really can't imagine giving that up without a fight. The truth is, I easily could have headed down a road like my friend did, and I might have if I didn't have the wonderful support of all the great people and things in my life, but because of them, I chose to fight. And I'm still here. And I am SO thankful for that.

So I guess all I wanted to say is that I miss my friend, and I think about her almost everyday, and it sucks that she didn't have something in her life to make her fight for life. But she has given me the wonderful gift of realizing how much my life is worth, and I don't forget that for a minute. So for me, I urge you all to take a minute out of your day to remember what wonderful things you have that keep you fighting to survive, to be better, to live another day. And be thankful.

and if anyone feels moved to do so, please consider donating to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) at https://www.nami.org/template.cfm?section=Donate&template=/customsource/Donation/GeneralForm.cfm&createcause=Y&lstid=1011

thank you everybody for keeping my life wonderful!