thanks

Writing this post, I began just wanting to share that I'm leaving for Disney on thursday and how excited I am, but in truth, there's something much more pressing that's nagging at me that I'd rather write instead. So here goes.

Depending on who you are, you may or may not know about the beginnings of my coming out story.The first person I really told about it was around the start of high school, and that at the time it didn't feel like a big deal. At the time, my parents had recently announced that they were separating, my big brother, who was more or less my hero, had just left for college for the first year, I had just changed schools, moved into a new house, had to commute everyday between the two houses for the first time, and found out I had medical problem I'd have to cope with and that has no real solution.

Since high school, my coming out has been a bit of a rolling stone, gaining momentum with each person I tell. Typical of my introverted self, I had brewed the question over for years, and finally one night spilled the beans, in code, to a friend who ended up spilling the same beans back to me. I am so amazingly lucky and thankful for that first experience and that friend because it gave me hope that the people I loved wouldn't reject me. From 11 years old, when a group of six girls sat in a circle around a candle and first brought up the possibility of being gay, though I don't think we even ever used the word, I thought about it all the time. In fact, before this was brought up in our confidential group, it had never crossed my mind. But I knew something was up, since through nearly all of elementary school I was talked about, made fun of, and often ostracized.

When I got to middle school, I was lucky to make weird, crazy, amazing friends that never seems phased by anything I did or said. And then in high school, when I was a bit bomb-shelled, and kind of lonely, I met friends who were also amazing and kind. The school had a community that was diverse and open unlike any I had experienced. I had wonderful teachers, and inspiring examples of what it was like to be different in some way. And then I got to college, where I had enough confidence to attend a Queer Ball, and I love the queer community there. I even came out to my mom, and my younger brother freshman year.

And so, because of Tyler Clementi's death and the rise of the "It Gets Better" movement, I needed to write this. I have been immersed in my own thoughts for the last few weeks, and wasn't really sure how to respond to everything. But I realized while watching videos and seeing articles everywhere that all I felt like doing was saying thank you to everyone in my life. Thank you to my friends who started me thinking about who I am, thank you to the friends that accepted me when I needed you, and thank you to my teachers, who convinced me not only that it gets better but that I have the potential to be more amazing because I'm different. To those of you who read this, thank you. I am still alive and happy because of you. You have no idea what you mean to me. Because of you, it keeps on getting better and better. Thank you!